Hanging from a cliff by my fingertips and dangling over a drop that seemed to have no bottom caused an immense fear to threaten to overtake me. The dizziness of looking downward made my head spin like a top so I chose to gaze upward toward the blue skies. I dug my nails even deeper into the rocky ground, but the weight of my body made it excruciating. A voice projected out to me gently but thunderous at the same time, "Tammy, who will open your heart? Angels?" Sitting straight up in bed, I could hardly catch my breath. "Who indeed?" I thought as I got my bearings. I understood I was being told the responsibility was mine and mine alone to keep an open heart.
Life can be brutal at times. It can make you throw your fists up in the air and scream for mercy. I've been there...more than once. I know I will be brought there again and again, too, but it's different now. I am different. There have been times when I have felt as if I was completely alone. I could be in a room full of people and still feel as if I was the only one there, but I know now that none of us are truly alone unless we choose to be and even then we are not really alone. Hold on for one minute, one hour, one day more because you will break through and a year or two from then you will wonder what you ever worried about to begin with.
It won't be easy. When you have built walls like a fortress around your heart, how can you ever expect to receive love? What can you do to open up after being hurt time and time again? Something that has worked for me has been to sing HU (pronounced hue). HU is a love song to God. It can change your life. I won't give you a discourse on HU because I feel it is something so special to each individual that the only way to truly understand it is to try it for yourself. If you would like to learn more about HU, check out this link: http://www.eckankar.org/hu.html Or you can listen to this short but amazing clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wc9N_g2NolA If you decide to try it sincerely, you won't be disappointment. I haven't been.
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