Love Never Dies

No answer. Numerous urgent rings of the doorbell and several furious knocks later, my great aunt was not responding. I pulled her extra key out of my pocket but as I unlocked the door I turned to her sister, my Aunt Jean, and said, "Maybe it's best you wait here." She nodded. Both of us seemed to be expecting the worse. My Aunt Connie lived alone and had been suffering from breast cancer. She would keep in touch with family to let us know she was okay, but it had been days since anyone had heard from her.

Warily I opened the door but the putrid smell that greeted me told the story even before my eyes rested upon her remains lying on the floor. I walked over to the figure sprawled out upon a bloodstained carpet. Her condo was incredibly hot and her body had been decaying for at least a couple of days. Surprisingly calm I knelt down reverently beside her, placing a hand gently on her fragile arm that looked like nothing more than a skeleton with skin bandaged upon it. A shrunken head with single hairs poking up in disarray from her scalp and sunken eyes stared back at me. Her gray skin was hard and cold despite the fact that I felt like I was in a sauna. Oddly I didn't cry or freak out. After a few moments, I only managed a whisper, "Oh, Aunt Connie..."

And to my surprise, as if she was leaning over me as I leaned over her, I distinctly heard her voice loud and clear. "Tammy...Tammy, you know that isn't me!" The way she would always say my name had a prominent twang to it, almost nasally; I knew it was her. I nodded and replied with a sigh, "I know, Aunt Connie, I know." It dawned on me I was so calm that I felt as if I was in a bubble and thought for a moment that's what shock was. Reflecting back now, I see it was more like a circle of protection. Eventually shock wears off and you suffer the effects, but that was not the case with me.

Another time, years before my aunt's demise, when my precious Nan took leave of this earth, I would have an equally powerful experience. She had been in the hospital after having a stroke, and we had just been told she didn't have much longer. We were given permission to stay overnight. I wanted to be with her so I volunteered.

Countless times throughout the night, I would fall asleep beside her, which wasn't an easy feat since it was an extremely uncomfortable chair. I remember telling her repeatedly how much I loved her and how I didn't know how I would ever live without her. I would then tell her as hard as it would be, it was okay and we would all be fine. She had always been my source of strength and love. She would be greatly missed.

Morning came. My uncle arrived to relieve me. I said my last goodbyes, kissed my Nan's cheek, and left. I was to wash up and make the long journey to report the news to her other son who was imprisoned upstate. My youngest brother drove and my other brother accompanied us for moral support. Having to give the news to a man handcuffed and shackled that his mother had only a short time left to live was heart-wrenching to say the least. He didn't take it well but not so badly that all the hardware was needed either.

On the way home, completely drained, I slept. All of a sudden I sprung up out of my seat in the back. I felt a great swoosh of energy pass through me and I knew without a doubt my grandmother and my best friend had moved on to better and brighter things. I stared at the clock on the car radio; it read 3:50 p.m. We were still forty minutes from home in a time where not everyone had cell phones. I found it impossible to sleep.

The car pulled up at my front door and my uncle was standing there smoking a cigarette. I watched in a daze as he walked over to us, his face red with tears, and delivered what I already knew. Nan had died. Choking back tears I asked, "When?" I'm sure have guessed what he said. The time had been exactly as I had viewed!

Love never dies. Our energy never ceases to exist. It simply bids farewell when our bodies have had its fill and can no longer sustain life. Perhaps from there it will rest a while in the "heavens" or on other planes. Or maybe it will even choose to return to live again here or somewhere else, but it never really leaves, does it?